Since my time in recovery from addiction I have learned a great deal about codependency and how it played a role in my active addiction. At a young age I began to turn to drugs to feel better by numbing the feelings of worthlessness that I was experiencing. I have learned that those feelings of worthlessness were caused by codependency, a mental condition that commonly co-occurs with addiction. Throughout most of my life, I required another person or people to have a sense of self-worth. Because of this I was unable to have healthy and mutually satisfying relationships with friends, family members and significant others. Every single one of my relationships was one sided, emotionally destructive and abusive. Depending on the relationship, I would switch between the roles of the manipulator and the enabler. When it came to family and friends, I would manipulate each person to get what I wanted, when I wanted it and with my significant others, I would completely lose my identity to satisfy their needs. Once the co-occurring illnesses of codependency and addiction had reached their peak I was left with low self-esteem from the feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy and completely lacked communication skills resulting in overblown emotional reactions. I reached an all-time low and sought help. Since then I have become a strong independent woman. Something I never thought would be possible after years of struggling with drug abuse and codependent relationships. I am happy to say that I no longer require other people to have a sense of self-worth. Today my sense of self-worth comes from within and because of that I can help many addicts who are still struggling with codependent tendencies.